In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
