Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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