my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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