I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
