Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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