i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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