nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
