I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
