I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
You work out of a Hotel?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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