I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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