after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
