dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
