Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
