Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
