So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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