At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
