Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize