***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
