"it" just moved
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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