ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
