I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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