just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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