I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
