oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize