Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i may or may not be watching the land before time
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
