This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
