Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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