Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
