The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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