she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Randomize
