I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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