I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
