what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
someone owes me an orgasm
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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