ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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