i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
