I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
