do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
