There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My vagina is officially offended.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
