just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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