She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
