oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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