It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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