Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
