I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
