is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
