so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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