we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
