Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
