so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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