Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
