don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
