me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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