it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
