Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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