Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Randomize
