My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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