this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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