chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize